Chapter 02 - "Blue Eyes"
Looking back over the last year of my life, it amazes me to see how much I have changed.
I love that footage from the trip to San Francisco because it reminds me that something really significant happened in my life throughout that whole process. And by “whole process” I don’t mean just the recording of a few songs… I mean that entire period of my life.
That trip was definitely the turning point. Forging those friendships and taking that ride to California got me unstuck because it taught me the rewards of just showing up, both creatively and personally. After seeing that mural, it also became clear to me that the chapter of my life I was in was all about all about letting go and not being afraid to reinvent myself - to dig deeper for a new expression of myself. In order to do that, I had to let go of some false beliefs that had been holding me back for many years. Not long after that trip was when I decided to apply for the master’s creative writing program at Sewanee, because I had this crazy idea to start telling my whole story in a new way and I wanted help with this other writing “voice” that was wanting to come out…
And then I got in. And now here I am in the midst of this incredible new Story&Song project, about to head down to the Smokey Mountains for the summer to explore the art of storytelling and maybe write a book or a screenplay. Who knows?? I'm just putting one foot in front of the other :)
The story of "Blue Eyes" was significant because that trip was when I started making the conscious decision NOT to be afraid, but to start BELIEVING instead that something good was coming. I look back now and it's almost comical how stuck in my own head I was for a while there. The San Fran trip caused a breakthrough in my thinking. Whereas I'd spent that whole year feeling like I was completely lost, I see now that I was just going through a transition and couldn't see where I was headed. That flat out scared the crap out of me.
And now, I'm still not exactly sure where I'm headed. What I do know is that I've created something new and now I'm going to continue exploring my storytelling voice by going to Sewanee. Beyond that, I'm kind of living life on a need-to-know basis these days.
And I'm starting to wonder if maybe that isn't what this whole journey is about? Just. Letting. Go.